Now if you’ll excuse me, I have important work to do on my insanely powerful warship that could literally reduce everything on Earth to ashes.
Of course, his warship can reduce everything on Eaeth to ashes, but it couldn’t take out a spaceship shaped like a mansion…
Line-by-Line: Student Suspended for Breaking School’s Zero-Tolerance No-Hugging Policy
It’s been a while since I did this, and the last time I did it was on a different blog entirely. But I found myself screaming at this news story the whole time I was reading it. So let me do the same on the internet!
Line by Line Started:
News story to be ripped apart today: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/11/03/student-suspended-for-breaking-schools-zero-tolerance-no-hugging-policy/
Title: Student Suspended for Breaking School’s Zero-Tolerance No-Hugging Policy
By Line: <Author Uncredited>
Date: November 03, 2011
Begin Line by Line
Dateline: PALM BAY, Fla. – A 14-year-old Florida student who hugged his friend was suspended as a result of his middle school’s zero-tolerance no-hugging policy, myFOXorlando.com reported.
What? ANOTHER Fucking Zero-Tolerance policy?? I have a zero-tolerance policy for zero-tolerance policies…
Nick Martinez said he gave a quick hug to his best friend, a female student, between classes.
Oh No! They hugged!! Call in the police!!! It might be Sexual Harrassment!!
Also, it was a boy and girl hugging. I wonder if it was two of either if this would have still happened…
The public display of affection was spotted by the principal of Palm Bay’s Southwest Middle School, 74 miles southeast of Orlando. While the principal said he believed the hug was innocent, he brought the two students to the school’s dean, who penalized them with in-school suspensions.
….Well if he thought it was innocent why The Fuck DID HE TURN THEM IN?!?!?!?!
According to the Southwest Middle School’s student handbook, students can receive a one-day out-of-school suspension for kissing, while students caught hugging or hand-holding are penalized with a dean’s detention or suspension.
……….why? Why the hell do they have that waste of rules when they could be using their enforcing energy for more PRESSING things, like, I dunno, drugs and guns and gang activity……
School administrators said a committee of parents approved the “no hugging” policy years ago, and there aren’t plans to change it any time soon.
Probably some parent that wanted to stamp out the last remains of her kid’s fling. She figures she can control her kid’s fling at home, but not at school, so she proposed this.
The school’s strict policy stipulates that there is no difference between an unwanted hug, or sexual harassment, and a hug between friends.
YES THERE IS!!!! This statement, in other words, has removed the common sense from hugging. JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER ZERO-TOLERANCE POLICY!!!
Christine Davis, spokesman for Brevard County School said the school’s “focus is on learning; therefore, we cannot discriminate or make an opinion on what is an appropriate hug, what’s not an appropriate hug,” said Davis. “What you may think is appropriate, another person may view as inappropriate.”
If you’re so focused on learning, tell me this. How is being suspended for hugging someone else going to help their learning? I mean, now they’re going to miss a day of school - when they COULD BE LEARNING - because they hugged someone else!!
“A lot of friends are hugging. I just happened to be the one caught doing it,” Nick said. “Honestly, I didn’t know because I didn’t think hugging was a bad thing. I didn’t know you could get suspended for it.”
IT’S NOT A BAD THING, KID!! You’re school is just stupid and wasting time on something they shouldn’t be wasting time on. And, given what he said, it’s a rule that ISN’T EVEN ENFORCED WELL!!
Nick’s mother, Nancy Crecente, said she plans to ask the school board to change the policy.
PLEASE, Nancy, PLEASE DO! Please bring some common sense to these IDIOTS who implemented a ZERO-TOLERANCE POLICY!!! UGH!!
Kardashians, take note.
Divorce rates are going to be lower if you are not getting married.
In Soviet Russia, North Wind Breaks You
You know that story about the Sun and the Wind attempting to take the jacket off a man? Reprinted here: http://www.mikelockett.com/stories.php?action=view&id=39”I might admit that you are stronger than me if you can beat me in a contest,” said the Sun.
The North Wind’s ego wouldn’t let him turn down a challenge. ”I can beat you at anything,” he stated.
“Let us agree,” said the Sun, that whichever of us can make that man below us take off his coat is the more powerful.”
“It’s a bet!,” replied the proud North Wind. He could blow down trees, so he knew he could cause a man to take off his coat. Right away, he dropped down lower in the sky. He sent a puff of air that blew the bottom of the jacket upwards, hitting the man in the face. The man smoothed the bottom of the coat down with his hands and kept on walking. Annoyed, the North Wind blew harder. With the first cold blast, the man pulled the coat more tightly around him and turned up his collar.
The harder the North Wind blew, the tighter the man held onto his coat. The man grasped the ends of his sleeves with his fingers and from the inside of the arm holes pulled the arms of the coat closed at the wrist to keep the wind out. Then the man wrapped his arms across his chest to keep the wind from blowing the coat open. He tucked his chin down and leaned forward into the wind and kept walking. The North Wind puffed and puffed until he was out of breath. All that had happened was that the man hung onto his coat tighter than ever!
Then the Sun took her turn. She began to shine. At first her beams were calm and gentle. But, after the terrible cold of the North Wind, the sunshine felt pleasant to the man. His chin lifted, and he turned his face upwards toward the light. The Sun warmed her rays just a bit, and watched as the man’s arms dropped to his side. She watched his hands re-appear after the man let go of the ends of his sleeves. She turned up the temperature and saw him open his collar and unbutton the jacket. Then, she heated the air around him, and the man took out a kerchief and mopped his brow. Moments later, as the Sun continued to shine on him, the man took off his coat and sat down in the shade of a tree to cool himself.
The Sun didn’t say a word to the North Wind. Politely, she turned and continued her journey across the sky. Both of them knew that her gentleness and kind persuasion were more powerful than all of the North Wind’s bluster and force.
Well, in this story (when interpreted as a political allegory)… THE SUN AND THE WIND ARE COMMUNISTS!! They try and make the man take off his freedom, represented by THE COAT!! The wind, who represents COMMUNIST RUSSIA, tries to do this BY FORCE!! The sun, representing MODERN DAY COMMUNISTS, does this by SLOW SUGGESTION!! IT WARNED US AND WE DID NOTHING!!!!!!! #satire #TinFoilHatsAreCoolLooking
Pet Peeve #6: Misuse of the phrase “X is Dead! Long Live X!”
I absolutely despise whenever people use this phrase the wrong way, and when people use this phrase, they’re usually using it the wrong way. Everyone seems to think that the phrase is just an overly elaborate proclamation that “X Is Dead!”. But it’s not - it has a lot more meaning to it.
The original phrase “The King is Dead! Long Live the King!” does NOT refer to the same King. A country in the days of kings NEVER EVER did not have a king. When the king died, the instant his heart stopped, the crown was passed to the next person in succession (usually his son, some other heir, or his wife, in that order). The phrase embodies the immediacy of this transition: The king died, the next king is crowned. The phrase is said with nary a breath between the two sentences.
So when the phrase “The King is Dead! Long Live the King!” is said, it is referring to TWO people! The first sentence states the old king has died! The next sentence wishes the NEW king, the one that was crowned with the statement of first sentence, a long life (and often it is this sentence that is chanted in movies while the camera stares at the new king, wary of what’s to come). If the crown was passed to a woman, then the phrase would have become “The King is Dead! Long Live the Queen!” (but that rarely happened, so this phrase obviously didn’t make it into popular culture).
So when using this phrase, use it correctly! The first sentence refers to that which is dead, the second refers to the one which will take it’s place. If you refer to the same thing in both sentences, then you’re wishing that the thing you just proclaimed was DEAD would live a long life. And that doesn’t make sense!
The misuse of this phrase is dead! Long live the proper use of this phrase!